This was emailed to me by my homie and comrade in techno-wizardology, Erik Kianfar. Hey man, In response to your blog, About the part about calling it Xmas. I'm not sure if this is 100 percent correct but I learned it in World Religions class. So I hope it is. The X in Xmas actually means Christ in Greek or Roman or whatever language it was. So technically, writing Xmas is in whatever way you want to look at it, more correct than writing Christmas. What do you think? I think a couple of things, first of which is that saying its more correct is inaccurate, its just a different language. And secondly that even though that may be true most folk don't know that, that is why the joke in futurama works. It's seen as a less formal (false as that assumption may be) way of referring to this time of year. I suppose the point I'm really making is that if people did learn that Xmas was actually a reference to Jesus in itself, they'd find another way of referring to Christmas in a... I can't think of the right word, but less spiritually aware sense. Is that in any way cogent, I've just been in the car for 4 hours and I'm replying off the cuff so to speak but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Where's Jesus?

When did Christmas loose all of its spirit? When did it become purely secular? There's nothing wrong with people who don't necessarily believe in Christ celebrating their family and giving and receiving at this time of year, but when did we completely forget that this day is about celebrating the birth of a Manifestation of God? What I find truly upsetting is the notion that we should take the Christ out of Christmas altogether. What's wrong with it remaining a religious holiday? We wouldn't even think of taking Muhammad out of any Muslim Holiday or the religious aspect out of Hanukkah, so why are people getting het up about Christmas not being called Xmas? I myself do not profess the Christian faith but I do believe that If people want to celebrate their faith then we should all fuck off and let them. And maybe keep the parts we can agree with for ourselves without trying to tell them they should change their ways. Just me I suppose , but I think that Christmas is what it is because of where it came from and if that is taken away totally, then the only time of year people make an effort to think of others will (and maybe already has) become completely selfish and false beyond repair. So maybe cast your minds to Jesus once over this season, even if you don't believe in God, he still did some freakin cool stuff. And it may remind you why your buying someone something cool. It shouldn't be because it'll make you look good, but because It makes them feel good. Allah'u'abha Friends, enjoy the season of good will to all men, while you can...

On Bloging.

Why, having started a blog and enjoyed the maintenance of it have I consciously let it fall to the wayside of my interest? I still see and experience things and think "I'll blog that, that's some funny shit", and yet I've not blogged any of my hilarious escapades/shenanigans or en lightning and inspiring opinions on life the universe and everything in freaking ages. Leaving the Internet without my own caring and subtle use of profanity. Well that's me. God bless homies. Hahahahah I didn't answer my own question. Annoying isn't it.

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Sweet holy mother of Guitar based Justice...

...On a stick!!! This is the most wonderous thing I've ever heard. I had to share it, my only sorrow in this is that I cannot see the joy this will bring to your face myself. I will see these men live within a year! With God as my witness I will be that good...I hope.

Dat Lundon

Dat Lundon,
originally uploaded by dagroovetroll.

I'm in the process of thanking God for how much my life rules... and part of that process is going through the photographic documentation of momments of ruleosity (its a word... you can't prove it isn't).

I took this foto oin Lundon ( I know, I know its a vernacular spelling)
On the night before I flew to Israel in june, it was a lovely night with a lovely Friend follwed by a lovely tomorrow, and I wanted to share it with the lovely people that read this blog.

Sweet.

Dude... Freakin' Tired!!!

This week I 'av been mostly doin'... Nuthin'

You know those weeks where very little happens, you don't have to work much, no one is really around and you just kinda vegetate. I FUCKIN HATE THOSE WEEKS... sorry I kinda lost my cool there. I feel (because that's why I started this post.) that I must explain.

I'm a lazy S.O.B. Its easy to ignore if your in a routine of earliness, you get more sun, get breakfast into you and I dunno its just easier to soldier on. Weekends are there for a reason,and they are brilliant, but living like that all the time, or for me, even 2 or 3 days of it, leaves my body clock a good 12 hours out of whack, gettin out of bed at 4 o clock in the EVENING?!? I really think that is the worst feeling in the world, and yet I do it, if I got nothin else on. I never leave people down and I never miss work if I have it, but if I'm left to my own devises, I stay up all night and sleep all day, it throws of the rhythm of my prayers, my weight lifting, my guitar practice, all the stuff that I do for me. Its ass. Fried ass. On stale bread. Nuff Said.

Its the fact that I like people, and work, and driving, and Being alive, part of society and feel that it has been enjoined on all of us to enguage in a trade or craft of some kind, to waste not our days in idleness and sloth... I know I've heard that somewhere before... Its also got a lot to do with the crippling sorrow that strikes in the late hours like some winged Lovecroftian Leviathan. Hemming me in on all sides stealing the screams from my lips and the Joy from my very sou-... Again, Lost the cool there. Joking aside though, you know what I mean, boredom can lead to a feeling that I think we are to quick to call depression, and the knowledge that I'm in control of that but still do the counterproductive things that lead me down that path is frustrating on a myriad of levels.

Though I freely admit that I would love to have a someone, even without them I am happy, my life is great, my family are great, my friends are great though distant and I'm in a great place, saving money to go to collage and really kick my life off, hitting the ground runnin so to speak.

Another disjointed unintelligible rant from a big ginger nerd. I enjoyed it, and you didn't have to read it but I hope you enjoyed it either way.

God Bless homies, be well. You Deserve it.

And now for something completly different....

So having resolved all the issues in my life that super sucked (1 basically) I am now free to look at how much I am blessed and also restart this blog, I love my blog.... I missed it. In terms of news... I have a wicked new job, I have a car on the road, I'm officially and kinda happily single and the band is going quite well. But really the only thing interesting that happened recently was going to Galway to help recruited at for the Baha'i society in the university there, that was truly brilliant. In 4 and a half hours my self and the 2 other folk I was working with must have introduced like 80 new people to the faith, 40 of them joined the society and half of them were genuinely interested in the faith, 3 of them were instantly enamoured. There was in some folk the obvious academic fear of faith and in that case we gave them chocolate, praised there attempt to protect themselves from scary stuff and told them the name of the website and bid them have a lovely day. The funniest thing that happened, in my opinion, was early in the day when a group of first years came up to enquire as to how to pronounce that word and we roped them into hearing about the faith. There was 3 guys and two girls and one of the guys was a long haired individual holding the communist manifesto in one hand and waring a Che T-shirt. This guy asked me, once I'd explained the unity of science and religion principle, how we felt about evolution, I was mid explanation when I had to sign up someone that one of my cohorts was speaking with, I said hang on 2 seconds, started the process and this guys yells "How can you believe that?" and tries to storm of expecting all his mates to follow, his friends immediately scold him for being close minded and then comeback late having deposited him somewhere. Two of the girls singed up and one of the guys and one of the dudes said he liked it but wasn't comfortable getting involved with religious stuff without more research, I again gave him Bahai.org and my Email and said if he needed any more info than is on that brilliant site I'd be happy to help. We gave them more chocolate and bid them farewell. The funniest thing I saw all day was the expression on that poor young mans face when he realised that he wasn't really the leader of his little gang just because he had joined the the Socialist Society.... haha I think I'm gonna be laughing about that for a long time. He was so cute, like a rabbit in headlights. In the interests of moving on with my heart, decisions have been made, not just by me but the were confirming in what I thought anyway, There are some funny stories there, but they are best saved for homie to homie interaction. I miss you guys so drop me a line, your pretty much all on facebook and if your not you know you have my Email so use it. Peace out, God Bless and Allah'u'Abha. Kev, the ginja ninja.

We shall return to normal programing....

...after this.

Comic Books, an art form, a recreational activity and to some poor suckers a life affirming reason to exist in a world of stories, a world of black and white pulp and resolution... closure.

Thanks to recent events I've had to try to relocate all the things that made it ok to be alone, to be by myself and still have faith in the world of man, having faith in God is easy, Prayer is easy, believing humanity has the potential to respond to those things can get hard. I know its a bit random to connect comic books and pop culture to religion and faith, but hey, I'm a random dude.

I started by going home, to spider-man and the fantastic 4 and X-men, and Chris Claremont and Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and Todd Mcfarlane and for some unknown reason Rob Liefield, and felt instantly the thrill of the story.

I should explain a little at this point. I'm deeply interested in pop history, the history of the stories, the heroes and villians of the 20th century, the interplay of charachters whose realms never crossed, whose creators never met but who inspired each other across space and time. I'm inspired by the "degrees of seperation" between H.P. Lovecroft and Warren Ellis, between George Orwell and Stan Lee, between Arthur Connan Doyle and Frank Miller. I'm intrigued by the subtle pull and push of popular subconcious, and what makes that subconcious, what informs it. And I also get a giddy and arrogant little thrill from knowing what inspired who and from seeing the "Big Joke" that nerds have been playing on the world since well before the slur/badge of honour existed.

References. It always comes back to references, in the wide world we quote or reference scrubs, and before that friends and before that a myriad othere T.V. shows and Movies and Talkies and Silent Films, and Radio Plays and Magazines and Books, and Scrolls and so on until you end up with two cave dudes laughing because of some cave painting they both saw and it moved them to laugh or cry or think or what ever. We now float on a sea of those references, on a platform made from the bits and pieces, some big, some small, of the stories that mattered, that were worth enough to have an effect on the world that most of us don't really see.

An exapmle? I hear your brows furrough in collective confused annoyance, I know I'm supposed to be funnier than I have been in the last few posts, OK. How many people these days, between the ages of 13 and 21, those most directly affected by pop culture, know what Blade Runner is? Fewer still is the Number of people who know that its based on a story called "Do Androids dream of electronic sheep?" by Phillip K. Dick? Being unaware of this, how can anyone be aware of the impact of that film on film today? I mean I'm not saying its bad that some people think that the Matrix was the first film to deal with a fear of our creations over taking us, its just not correct, its not the end of the story.Personally I think the visuals in the 5th Element, and the new Star Wars triolgy and most of the other "new" science fiction films are made all the more beautiful by the fact that they are inspired by someone elses work. That one human being created something that caused the creation and expression of something else, by someone else. I'm not saying Blade Runner was a bagining in itself, but I get giddy when Asimov comes up in conversation.

There are exceptions to this, Janet Jackson sampling Ventura Highway by America is a prime example of things that should not have happened, but is the rule not proven by its exceptions?

I'm not writing this as simple waffle... well I am because its a blog, an excuse to monlouge and see what happens, but I'm writing this because this blog is only read by people I love, and I want to share this with them, I want to highlight the story behind the stories, the impact comic books have had on pop culture, outside of the movie industry, the impact science fiction had on fashion out side of the 5th element, the impact star trek had on religion outside of the stupid nut bags who insist on ruining things for the rest of us. Fucking... sorry they just get to me. They make me stupid by association.

There is a communal spring of stories out there, of our stories. We didn't write them, they were written for us, but they are ours, and in a sense we are thiers, they mould the thought that moulds us. I think sometimes we discount the validity of these tails because of all the filth ad grime we see in the world around us, and yes, sometimes it can be said that its the fault of certain of these stories, but more often, I think, its our fault for not seeing the whole story, for not acctually looking at the Brownian motion of human thought, as much of the pattern as we can see anyway, and putting it in the context of our lost society and our potential to get where God wants us to get to that is at fault.

Its out there and its interesting is all I'm sayin', Geez there's no need to look at me like that.

P.S. My band released a single, and It's at number 3 in the Irish music download chart, not as big a deal as it sounds but nice none the less.

P.P.S. If you don't know who Asimove is Find out. Ergo sum victor!!

Now that thats finished, I can....

So the tour is now finished, Ireland is a small country and it wasn't the biggest tour ever anyway. I'm sorry it's over to be honest because it was really fun and very good experience, I think. Last night we played in a great venue in a town called Dundalk, The venue is called the Spirit Store and it really is great, when you guys come visit me, I'll take you to a gig up in that neck of the woods, I mean not to just any gig but seriously, a lovely venue. So the single is being recorded this weekend, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm hella excited, I really like the song, I like playing it and I like singing it and I can't get it out of my fucking head, which is good I think ... when you are trying to sell a song. It looks like the run up to the Launch we'll be touring the whole country for like a week, meaning a gig every day radio stuff and hopefully T.V. stuff but probably not. But still its gonna be great, I hope. On the lighter side of the news, I had a great experience early today. We went to Dundalk, which is like a 6 hour drive from home, got to the venue, set up and sat around for the required nothing period and then went on stage to play a 50 minute set, and at no point did I feel nervous or anything of the sort. It was the same at the Dolans gig. I know this is small to others but it was huge to me, so huge to me in fact that It slipped past me until I was in the car on the way back today and it was the greatest thing to hit me since I left Israel. Its the small personal triumphs that get us through and help us thank God every day, and that we should tell everyone about to make us feel big. More soon, God Bless.

Some updates and photos.

Just Postin' some pics of whats happenin', and droppin' the letter.... that comes after F from my life.

These are shots from the Dolans show, which Rocked. Funny part is I spent the whole show dancin', and there was none of it photoed. Damn it!!

We're playin' in Wicklow tomorrow and in Dundalk on Saturday, Its the last show on the tour and I 'as a feelin' that it shall indeed rock out loud! Hopefully some of my Superstar dancin' will be captured on film...

Another short one but I just accuired the Photos and thunk I'd throw 'em up... Whooa Its really hard talkin' about bein a musician with out writing the word gig.... Damn IT!!!!

Well now.... that requires some explination.

Touring... is fun, that's kinda all I can say about it, thus far. Settling in with the band has been interesting, in a good way I mean. Good musicians who like what they play and how I fit into that sound, and lovely guys to boot. Almost all the gigs have gone in some way wrong thus far, bad sound, early curfews and getting pulled over by the federalies on 3 separate occasions, oh yeah and a serious lack of crowdage have made it difficult to really enjoy them, but the music is good and we play well together, so in those 35-40 minutes its great. Last night we played the penultimate gig on the tour in my home town and it was a stomper, great support act who is a really good friend of mine, loads of support from a really solid crowd and we headlined and played the tightest gig we've played to date, the crowd loved it and we had time to actually play together instead of just playing the music and getting off, we cracked jokes and changed lyrics on the spot and generally just had a hoot. Its gigs like that that make this musician thing seem plausible. I'm working on a portfolio of about 6 pieces for the sake of it really, to practice writing pieces in different styles and themes, and I just "purchased" some really good software that should help. I'll be posting the first few on myspace/omalleysguitar soon enough but until I have them at a level I like everyone needs to go to myspace.com/noblesounds and http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=176124077, two really talented Baha'i musicians who deserve real support. I am aware that this post sucks, is unfunny and uninteresting, but I'm on the road and I'm tired and I'm actually doing OK, as long as I don't think about my ex... oh there it is. Be well my friends.

Blogging might really be Magick (the K is to ward off evil spirits.)

So, the last post done and awaiting comment from my stalwart reader, I went about my business, of doing nothing and hoping things would then happen by Magick(see above), when they did, and now, not fully sure of how or why but truly grateful, I'm on tour around Ireland with a band. Sweet. I'm touring with a young man by the name of Kiernan McMullen, a tasty little singer songwriter with a hell of a live act, he has a bassist and a drummer with him already and he asked me to sit in with them and be the second voice and the guitar, to which I said, "Hell Yeah" then apologised for loosing my cool and calmly said, " I'll check and see if I'm free." Kiernan and I go back a ways, nearly 6 years at this stage so we have played together a lot, I taught him how to play 9th chords and was a voice on the path of jazz for him (his words, I just agree and like telling people), we have jammed together for at least a million hours, over the 6 years and would have seen each other nearly every day for a lot of that seeing as how we went to school together. So far we've done 2 gigs of the tour, one with just the two of us down in Cork and one as the Band in Galway, both gigs were new and kinda fun but there is some tightening of the bolts required and tightened they shall be damn it, but for what they were I think they went well I have to say. We're playing in Kilkenny this weekend and then there are many more gigs after that around the place but I will keep people informed as to the progress. I would tell people to check the Kiernan out on myspace but genuinely I don't think the recording do him justice, he is really great live and its a pleasure to play with him. Really there is no other news, I would just like to thank anyone who busted out some prayers for me over the last few weeks, this is not the biggest thing in the world, but it is big for me and its nice and comfy as well, so thanks. I'm still looking for more people to play with as the experience and the money would be much needed but hey I'm chuffed at the starting of things. God Bless

Making music for movies.

This post must begin with a full frontal apology. Leili I am truly sorry that I didn't inform you of my visit to the U.S. Of A., and I am also sorry that since you have not made your profile public I don't know which Leili you are, although I'm guessing that it is the Leili who studied global prosperity for a long ass time. And if it is you, I am sorry again, I shoulda hollah'd at ya homie. and If its not Leili T then comment again and let me know that it is you who deserves a cup of tea and a how are ya. Well it seems that the Lord did not reserve the previously mentioned job for me, and to be honest I'm grateful, the only thing good about it was that it came with a qualification at the end of it, but the awful money for the hours, and the fact that I would be surrounded by B.S. all day made it really unappealing, however it was a steady job and paycheck with a qualification at the end of it. I have always known that I wanted to be a musician, not a starving artist who wants to change the world through music, some one who makes music and makes a living form making music, a session musician; one who plays music for people who need it played, like singers and people who don't play themselves but need my skills for some reason. However this is a tough game to get into and I'm not sure how to go about it, so if anyone has any advice share let me hear it, or even better if anyone has any gigs I'll take them. I'm setting up a website and getting a portfolio together to make this happen and just to say it out loud I want to end up making music for movies and cartoons (I did actually say it aloud I typed it, so don't call me a liar.) Things are still quiet on the home front except for a gig in Cork on Sunday with Kiernan, its a session musician gig, in that I'm playing Kiernans stuff with him and getting paid for it, hopefully I can use that to start stuff going. I'm going to take some photos of "where I live" at the behest of Ms. Tyson, so fear not Milly, there will be manys the "rustic scene" and "portrait of Modern Ireland" to stoke your romantic ideas of my homeland. So this is me signing off for now, I enjoyed that post I must say. I love the self gratification of blogging, its a good excuse for the modern man to introspect and then post it for all the world to see. Its very gratifying to be that vain and think and talk of only one's self, I do find it therapeutic. God Bless and a Happy Naw Ruz to you all.

So... a really honest one... to vent i suppose..

Warning, whinging and regret venting ahead!!! Proceed at own risk!! There is a point after which your own toolishness can only amaze, and its always after this point, when you have to dig yourself out of your own hole, that this becomes apparent. Still jobless, well waiting on job stuff to work out, I have come to the realization that I have been running from a good thing for a really long time and now that really good thing is gone. While in the Holy Land, I had a minor freak out and this led me to make a terrible decision, which was breaking up with the greatest girl I know, (sorry Jordan, you're lovely but well... you're a man, no matter what you may think.) Having been regretting it ever since, I had planned to come back and work stuff out, but now as it happens she is going out with a really nice bloke (said in truth). I don't really want to whinge to much about this but none of my friends at home read this so I won't have to put up with to much from it so its OK and I needed to get that out. Call it a confession if you will but keeping stuff like that in hurts and admittance is the first step toward recovery apparently, I'm not sure if there is a 12 step program for being stupid but I assume they translate across issues... So now I am alone and jobless... fun. I find out about a potential job on Monday and that'll help, only if I get it obviously, but hey, I'm being proactive. The previously mentioned gig has since passed and did so without major rumblings, I just don't like playing my own stuff on stage, I know I am as boisterous as one can be, but it just feels bad, end of story. I love playing with other folk and working on their songs but I'm just not up for the solo singer songwriter thing. On the positive side, all my homies are good, and the great gaping void that I thought would be left between me and folk from the B dubya C is not there. The source of much smiles and happiness, facebook is great, so's skype, aw hell even msn has its good points. So for all the ladies out there let this be a validation of everything you have thought of men for years, most men are not as silly and wussy as me but still there are some of us, and on our own heads be it, most of the time we don't end up losing our best friends and the person we love in the one package but hey, I like to push the envelope in all my doings. If your gonna do something wrong, do it right huh? I suffer under no illusion that this current state of affairs will last, a job will come and the world will turn, but I'm gonna be dealing with this one for a long time... God I'm such a wuss, look and me moaning like a fish wife. Only thing that makes this OK in my head is that I'm not forcing this on anyone. YOU CHOSE TO READ THIS, AND YOU CAN'T UNREAD IT HAHAHAHA!!!. I'm not sure if I'm going to post again for a little while, this still feels like staying in my head to much and that is a dangerous thing, but as I have said in the past I do really enjoy this so we'll see. I will however definitely update on the job thing and any other changes for the...Better? I hope so anyway. God Bless. P.S. The drum and bass its whats keeping me alive right now, God bless these saw band bass lines and life giving beats.

And after that...

Having languished in the post BWC depression for about as long as I can cope with and realizing that every decision I made there is not infallible simply because it was made there, I am starting, I think, to actually move into something that, while it may or may not work, is at the very least, a movement, a reaction it may be but hopefully the momentum will be enough to... I dunno, change something. Tomorrow night, the first day of the fast no less, I have my first gig in limerick in well over 18 months and I am crazily nervous... crazily. All I can do is play, and see what happens. In theory I have 2 tours coming up around Ireland at least but if all goes perfectly it'll be 3 and if not, as the pessimist in me is leaning towards there shall be no touring. I shall simply have to wait, or act really, and see where that goes. And if that turns out to be nowhere, I suppose I can always go back to the theatre, my first love...(sigh) I wish all engaged in our fast a spiritually fruitful 19 days, and a belated happy Ayyam-i-ha. For those of you doing it for the first time; use it, think while you are doing it about why you are doing it, and stay strong in the face of the sandwich and the coffee that you will get offered by friends and family not doing the fast, and remember that they are only doing it to be nice. While it may be insensitive, it is still a nice gesture. God bless. ( posted from my lounge on march 1st 2007)

Ok so, here's how it al went down...

I left the Bwc having used up all the ceremony at the wedding, and so goodbyes said, I waited in dispatch with no one around for about 30 mins while I waited for my ride to Ben Gurion Airport: The lift came and I went and in truth, that's it. I felt the plane take off in Israel and felt it land in London and my experience of the most blessed spot was over... Yeah. I arrived to my home and saw a young man standing where my little brother should be, when he hit me and said "where the fuck were you." I knew it was him and my year away had given him some time to have a growth spurt. We ate as a family, roast chiken and Irish potatoes, and just kicked it for a few days before I rushed off to the Airport to go to NEBY and really that's where it gets interesting. I got bounced from one canceled flight in London to the next and just when I had given up I got a late ass flight to JFK. I will never again fly American Airlines, it was by no means worth it, luggage lost no help and genuinely verging on aggressive. I ended up stuck out side grand central station at 2:30 in the morning and was accosted for money and freezing my ass off with nothing more than the coat on my back and a copy of "God passes by", oh yeah and like 1000 dollars. So I head into a Mickey D's to stay warm and wait for the metro north which doesn't run till 5 in the morning and get a cup of coffee, as I stand just out side the door having a smoke a black Sedan pulls up and the driver asks where I need to get to, I tell him Stamford and ask to see his Limo License. Needless to say he gets me to the hotel and the conference and Money changes hands, and, tired freezing and nearly in tears I stumble into the hotel and get my room and go to bed. The conference was... a conference, fun and insightful some times and a little boring at others, no Wetlands, but a good effort no less. It was during the conference that I met Joe, Joe is a new Baha'i from Dublin who declared in new york and who still lives there, for the time being at least. Joe convinces me to stay in new york for a few extra days and we had many an adventure. I attended a devotional, played at an open mic in the Baha'i center and saw a lot of the sights.We bought a guitar and to round off the tale of adventure, i was taken to the airport in a stretch limo... That's right a fucking Stretch. This story is better told in person and as such I shall leave it there and be thankful of all that happened. Till next we speak. (posted from my house in limerick, 23/feb/2007)

New begining and newer news..

So... I am at a loss as to how to proceed with this post, apart from stating that God is truly good and I am truly blessed beyond all reason and rhyme. I understand that it has been a while since last we spoke and I am loathe to bore you with all the deatails of my adventure, the word used in the truest sense, and since it is an ongoing adventure I feel it would be better spoken of from home, from base, from a space where I may order my thoughts. Sufficed to say, I am alive and having a great laugh. I hope this may tide you over gentle reader, untill time and stillness afford a better post, worthy of fine people like yourselves ( he adds the plural form in blind optimism and hope). So be well gentle reader , be safe and may kinde angels tend to thee. ( Poseted from Joe's falt in Battery Park, New York City. Feb 22 2007)

Well... thats it I suppose.

Its 7:52 in the morning and I'm waiting to board my flight to London in Tel Aviv Air port. The fact that I'm online, on my own laptop is truly amazing to me, and frankly that's all I have to say about the leaving so far. I spent my last night running from flat to flat in the pissing Haifa rain, and I've been going since 9 yesterday morning. Clorins wedding to Jarad was really beautiful, and warm and all the things a wedding should be, neither of them seemed nervous or worried just really happy to be getting it done, to be as one unit, it was something special to be a part of. There are pictures and they shall be posted. Sorry for the abruptness of the post but I'm really tired and I'm talking to folk online (this Internet thing is really fantastic) so I'm gonna write back again when I'm settled in the place of my parents, not home anymore I think but where they are I'm happy.

The End...?

So Koichi has left us, the second of my comrades in commencement, and there were much tears and "NO I'll miss you more"-ing, as is to be expected on such a momentous and life changing day...oh no wait there wasn't. I went out to Akko the day before he left and came back that night, went and kicked it at his flat while he packed, we went to eat on Ben Gurion and then came up the mountain to see some of the other folk to whom Gouch meant a lot. No ceremony, no fannying about and no girlyness. Jordan you can be sure that all men were manly and women were strong and feminine. I had work the next day and thus would not be able to see Gouch off to the Airport so we said good bye, a real goodbye on Hatzionut, involving the correct amount of hugging and promising of contact keeping and I was off to bed and the Asian Stalian was off to finish socializing and presumably finish packing at some stage. A neat ending to a neatly begun experience that, if I have any luck, will extend further into the land of friendship then it already has.

By no means do I mean to purvey flippancy at Koichi's leaving, as I've said he is a damn good man, and one that I definitely did not see enough of, but it was a "matter of fact goodbye", and very appropriate knowing who was involved. My relationship to Gouch has been somewhat of a counter point to my relationship with Anis (I was wandering when I was going to bring him up. Jesus, I hope this is the last time.) I did not share in Gouch's experience as we served in different departments, I never kicked it one on one with him on Hillel street at 4 in the morning after evening shift, talking about life, the universe and everything, juat mutual respect and a common cause leading to a solid friendship that is more than important enough to warrant a diatribe on a blog (or does my use of language in this post so far inspire me to spell it "blouge". I think that would be straying to far across the line of self aggrandizing and well into bullshit.) and I will miss him dearly no matter how much emailing and I.M.ing and network tool using is done. In other news I have officially finished work, I am no longer a security guard at The B.W.C. and all I can say about my last shift is that it rocked out loud!! Stories best told in person and not left to silly misinterpretation on by any Joe Stupid-dude who happens to fall across my blog, unlike a lot of folk on "myspace" I understand that the internet is visible to others and not just a fancy diary. So its all packing and cleaning and getting ready for Clorins wedding, which means the purchasing of a suit...God! guide me... and much guitar practising, it seems I will be playing for the whole ceremony and seating process. On the lighter side It looks like I'm going to America for 4 days on the 16th to attend the Neby conference... WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO. Through much help and cajoling from both friends and even my parents I decided that even though money is really tight, I should go and see the people that were here when first I started this journey into "me", and get the spirit down in my heart. There will be reports between now and then, and if not then probably a monster one after it. To sign off, I say farewell to thee oh Gouch-i-boy. May all go well and your first son be a masculine one. (Hey no pictures of Anis at least, yeah I'm phasing him out, that’s what I'm doing.)

1 down...

Well the exodus has begun. Anis has left us, and he would tell me to have a cry if I said anything even slightly kind or nostalgic and that's why we are such good friends. Anis and his sister left without pomp or ceremony, the same way I'm looking to bug out, sure there was tears and some awkward moments but Anis just told me to stop being such a big girl about it.

I've been through this before, people leave here everyday and new people come but Anis leaving is the real signal to me that I'm actually leaving Israel, friends since orientation and both guards who care about why we're here, there is a bond there, all it really means is I have to get my fat ass to Australia at some point. When Ryan, and Mar and Deuce left it was a big deal because I didn't have the honour of knowing these people for long enough before they hastened on, but this is different because Anis and Lewa are the first of my group to leave, it should say something that Anis is in all the photos up on the blog so far.

Next on the night train out of dodge is Koichi, a good man that I didn't get to see enough of because he was in kitchens and I serve in security, rotation being the bitch that is it, we only really see people in our world, when night is day and weekend falls on a Tuesday. We went to the Shrine of Baha'ullah together for the first time when we first arrived, and hung out during the orientation, but like I said, security is a strange and dark world of sunless days and waking nights, leaving little time for those on a normal schedule, a regret indeed but nothing that can't be remedied in the future. Luckily enough Clorrin and I leave on the same day, we are not going to the airport together but at least the goodbyeishness will all be in one big messy evening of pool and packing.

However, lets end this post with a tribute to Anis, to a good guard and a good man.

Anis: " I left me Baby on a sherut!"

Kev: " Whats a sherut man?"

Anis: "Its like a really big taxi with a really aggressive driver."

God bless you master of robotics and the "White man Dance".

Drum'n'Bass, Flashing lights and stimulating company.

The camera at the ready, and the friends all on the go, we have been doing much by way of socialising and just chilling in the end times. These are only the end times for me, Anis and Clorin but they are End Times in the Biblical sense sure enough. Trying to see everyone is not turning out be as big a chore for this group of leavers as I thought it would, basing my expectations on the lamentations of those gone before. Everyone is... I don't know, pulling together I think. In a sense, for Anis and I, a very real sense, the Vanguard is leaving and I think we are all trying to get the most out of it now, before the changing of the guard is complete. If you look carefully you can see the separate social circles overlapping, and while I'm sure it won't last, it is still a lovely thing to see and be a part of. Anis's sister Lewa is serving here as well, in the cleaning and maintenance department and although there is much love there, Ive not seen much of her or her group of friends since orientation nearly a year ago. I mean you can't serve somewhere like this and be friends with someones brother and not see them, but we definitely didn't see each other as much as I would have liked. Lewa had a kind of going away shindig on Hameganim in her huge flat and we bust out the projector and the tunes and thus the visualizations as well and had a mighty good time, but the highlight of the night was after the wind down from the first movie we watched, another movie was suggested... Anonymous "Lets watch another film?" Anonymous Guy "Have we got top gun?" Anonymous chick "Is that a comedy?.. Hey guys, is Top Gun a Comedy?... What?" Not the best thing to say in a room packed with movie buffs and nerds, and frankly it got the reception it deserved. The projector has also led to much Halo2 playing on a huge screen, not that this has helped my game it just makes the sight of my self gettin owned funnier because its like 1/4 life size, and the panic is much funnier in greater detail. The really strange thing about the gaming nights is its not panning out as a "Boys Night" anytime we do it these days, we never try to make it that way but the social aspect is so strong there that the ladies and more effeminate men are coming and enjoying the vibe and shiny display as much. Getting owned is more fun when there is a descent conversation going on in the background. It presents a good excuse at least.

Red Vs. Blue...it's so beautiful.

The whingyness seems to have ebbed in the last few days, mostly thanks to Anis and Patrick, and well... everyone else here. No point in sulking and missing out on the time I got left with these folk you know. So as an update on the pool thing, I played Cobi... Cobi owns both this pool hall and one in Akka... Cobi has been a pool and snooker instructor for 15 years... Cobi won... 3 times, one of which he beat me by a full 7 balls. 7 BALLS!! The Shame. I could make excuses about having a bad day, and finding out some off-pissing stuff but I won't, I lost flat out, fair and square... this time. Nice and short but I only really wanted to talk about gettin beaten by 7 balls, It was amazing. Oh yeah and to tell everyone to start watching red vs blue which also rocks. Its gettin hot in here, Baby leave on your clothes.

"I know what you mean man... it's weird for all of us." "Do you? Your not acting like you do. I mean; we're leaving. Its not just some place man, its a time and a sense of safety as well, a sense of home." "A little melodramatic, maybe? Life goes on. Remember the fear we had coming here?" " Yeah, but that was a fear of the unknown, this is a fear of concrete fact man, we know what's gonna happen." "Once again the gun is not even loaded and you are jumping all the way over conclusion land and into arroganceville. Like we always say, leave it up to the Big Guy, we're only in this for the ride either way." "Ok but if we get lost again I'm blaming you," "Fine just stop whinging, Jesus you sound like a child!" .... All of my recent internal dialogues have run like this, and I do mean exactly like this.

Halo2 and momments of zen.

Anis beats every one all the time, its a fact that none of us can win aganst him. Now, I used to have some skittles on the battlefield, but 10 months of not even looking at an X-Box appears to have been enough time to allow all of them to seep out into the ether and leave me completely unprepared for the virtual sodomizing I have received since Anis picked up Halo2 here. After work Patrick, Anis and I went to Anis's flat to play, knowing that the result would be boring for all of us, but there was nothing else on so we bit the bullet and went merrily to our doom, until Anis remembers he can put a massive handicap on his profile giving me and Pat a chance. So seeing as how I don't completely suck and Pat is not an idiot we started to actually kill Anis fairly often and the game got hella fun, for all of us, Pat and I felt better about playing and Anis was actually being challenged, any way as usually happens the laughing and ragging on each other reached critical mass and my face and stomach hurt so bad the idea of laughin' any more actually hurt at which point this happened:

 Pat, snipes Anis from long range.
Anis: "That was not nice!"
Pat: "I'll tell what isn't nice..."
 Me: "Where are you guys?"
Pat: ".... killing a family of three!"

  Followed by 15 minutes of rawkus laughter, many tears and about an hour and a half more Halo.It was a good night, thankfully not a rarity in my life but much appreciated none the less. Oh and I played pool with the chick who owns the pool hall; I won the first game, she won the second because I stuffed up on the black and I got my ass handed to me on the third and fourth games, so not the best of performances but at least I won one and I mean she does own two pool halls ... I did well believe me.


  So when you say " free" you mean "not free"